The Red Flags I Ignored

The Red Flags I Ignored Because I Didn't Trust Myself Yet

There's a version of me that knew. She always knew. She felt the shift in energy before the words ever changed. She noticed the inconsistency, the way certain situations made her stomach tighten, the way she'd leave conversations feeling smaller than when she walked in. She noticed all of it and then talked herself right out of trusting what she felt. That's the part no one really talks about. It's not that we don't see the red flags. It's that we've spent so long being told our instincts are too much, too sensitive, too dramatic, that when they show up loud and clear, we find a thousand reasons to quiet them down.

I ignored red flags in relationships, in friendships, in rooms I sat in that were never meant for me. I stayed in situations that drained me because leaving felt scarier than the discomfort of staying. I convinced myself that loyalty meant enduring. That love meant overlooking. That being understanding meant abandoning my own understanding of what was happening to me. What I know now is this, every time I dismissed what I felt, I wasn't just ignoring a red flag. I was telling myself I couldn't be trusted. And the more I did that, the further away from myself I got.

Healing, for me, has looked a lot like coming back to that version of me who knew. Apologizing to her. Listening to her. Letting her lead. I'm not angry at myself for the times I didn't trust my gut. I was doing the best I could with the tools I had and the wounds I was carrying. But I am committed deeply, unapologetically committed to never outsourcing my discernment again. Your body keeps score. Your spirit keeps receipts. And your intuition? She has never once lied to you. She just needed you to believe her.

If you're in a season where you're learning to trust yourself again, know this the fact that you can look back and recognize what you missed means you've grown. That awareness is not shame. That awareness is your power returning to you. Trust her. She knows the way.

KThompson